Revision 101

Here's an example of how to revise your introduction to quote sentences so that they are more concise. The first version contains the inflated phrasing, and the second contains less structural language. To write more concisely, try to minimize these parts of speech: conjunctions, prepositions, pronouns, helping verbs, articles. In this example, I have eliminated the following words: the, song, by, the, of, and, its, being, for.

Student draft: 
In the song “This Land is Your Land,” by Woodie Gutherie, he stresses the importance of America and its being for everyone: "xxx" (Gutherie 9).

Revised:
In Woodie Gutherie’s “This Land is Your Land,” he stresses that American  land belongs to everyone: “xxx” (Gutherie 9).